Kande & The Unicorn

There are many mythical places that overlanders talk about, their voices often dropping to a whisper, a faraway look in their narrowed eyes as they describe these as if giving away a family secret. One of those I often heard whispered about is on the northern lakeshore of Malawi. So I went there, expecting everything including unicorns and have to say I was not disappointed; Kande Beach lives up to its reputation without trying – there is an actually mistiness in my eyes as I type this. With enough of the local gin onboard even the unicorns can be seen frolicking on the wide, white beaches, over there between the beach volleyball court and the kayaks.

They even throw on a couple of boats to play with, assuming of course that you have some knowledge of sailing – this didn’t go exactly to planned with me at the wheel and there was more than one trip to an upside down dunking. After some tips and with a little bit of logical thought I soon picked up the general idea and managed to stay upright and in a straight line, making it around the island and back to the bar without causing any major shipping disasters or appearing on the 8pm news. There is a PADI dive school attached to the camp but as I prefer to spend my time breathing stuff I can’t actually see floating passed me I didn’t get involved, although in hindsight it probably would have been better to learn in the fresh water than surrounded by toothy things out in a real sea.

We stayed in a very cool little grass and wooden beach house and played in the restaurant around meal times so as to avoid burning the place to the ground. I also managed to catch up on some F1 action in the bar, although this was amongst Hamilton supporters who insisted on cheering him on. Thankfully this was in vain. Beyond the walls surrounding the place the plonkers lurked, unseen and unheard from, their key rings remaining blank and the mass produced artwork causing only a blur on the way in and out.